Monday, September 11, 2006

The Weekend & Start the Week

The weekend was good. Although I've still felt very fragile and brittle. I was so upset on Friday and it's taken me three days, more or less, to get over Friday. It's funny, Sheep and I tend to react in different ways to distress. I tend to bounce back quickly, whereas Sheep slowly feels his way back to normality. Over the last few days, I've been acting more like Sheep than me: there has definately been no instant 'bouncing back' this weekend!

On Saturday, we all went to the special "Steam-up Weekend" at the Leighton Buzzard Railway (http://www.buzzrail.co.uk). We went for the first time last year with Barnaby's Aunty Claire, Uncle Julian and his Aititi (my father). Amelia, this time last year, sort of accompanied us too, as my bump was pretty pronounced by then and I am sure that she could feel the jiggers of the carriage! Bizarrely, Barnaby seemed to have an amazing recall of our last visit; he kept commenting on what he had or hadn't done previously.

All of us, on a steam train
Barnaby in the front carriage, watching the engine with complete and utter concentration
Meanwhile, Amelia slept peacefully through the whole experience
And, one of the engines: we were pulled by this one

And as for today. I did, eventually, go into UCL/London (and, of course, Amelia into nursery) and it wasn't anywhere near as bad as Friday. However, I've been thinking about human evolutionary biology. Essentially, as far as I can see it, I am programmed (as the result of eons of evolutionary selection), driven even, to maintain close, physical proximity to my baby for reasons of basic feeding and protection. This is so obvious. One of the reasons I am clearly getting so distressed at the moment, is that being so far away from Amelia and handing her into the care of others goes completely contrary to all my instincts. All my instincts are screaming, "They're taking my baby away!". I need to be close to her. NEED! This is a completely irrational, instinctive and an utterly primal urge.

Essentially, Sheep had to partially manhandle me, partially push me out of the door today. But he was right: today, at UCL, was easier than Friday and so it will continue to get better. However, Amelia still only drank 1.5 fluid ounces of milk at nursery though.

Other news: I was so upset on Friday that I forgot to mention that Amelia's passport has arrived. Her passport number is 459569586 and guess what? It's a biometric passport. It comes with a little chip and its own antenna at the back. So she's got a far more sophisticated passport than the rest of us put together. It makes you wonder what info can be encoded on the chip though, doesn't it?

Other news: Barnaby has his first swimming lesson tomorrow. Sheep bought him some new, dinky little swimming trunks today. They are soooooo cute. My lovely, lovely boy.

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